You know, when we're young, we don't understand the answer to one question we always ask when our parents tell us to do something we don't want to, and that's the question of why. And a lot of times we'll hear that we'll find out when we're older. Well, that's true. Sometimes you don't see it until we're older...but that's because no one takes the time to explain it. And the first thing I try to do is to talk to children like they're human beings, not inferior, stupid, sub-rate members of the species. Of course, there's got to be a touch of judgment used, but overall, that's how I treat them...because they have every right to know the reason why, even if sometimes they don't understand it. But I try to give them credit for being as smart as I was, at least. Lots of things I learned later pissed me off, because if I hadn't gotten the routine "because I said so" answer, I'd have understood just fine, and been a lot happier about doing things I didn't like when I was young. But in the late 1980s, we had a sea change in the schools across the country - where I was going, anyway...
When I was in junior high, there was a dean named Mr. Huss. John Huss...what a great guy. Lots of kids look back and the deans were "the bad guys", but I remember so fondly this man who was one of my biggest influences. He was always happy, and made even the most unpleasant things seem fun, while retaining the ability to be as serious as can be when he needed to be. The thing he'd joke with me - and others, to be sure - about was the corporal punishment. I know...can you believe it? We used to HIT our kids! It was with a big, wooden paddle, and it was 1-3 swats, depending on the offense. You had the option, of course, to take a commensurate amount of detentions and stuff...it was up to the student. You could suffer on and on, or get it overwith quickly...and it was a thought that kept you from doing whatever it was that sent you there for at least a while. Mr. Huss would always see how I was doing, and remind me that I could stop by the office any time for a quick two...in case I was tired or anything. It was completely a joke, and I absolutely loved the charade...and I'd been there several times and received more than a few before, from he and the other dean we had. Then, the last year I was there, they stopped it. Corporal punishment was abolished from our public schools...and that was that. It became in-school suspension, detention, at-home suspension...all very ineffective tools at curbing the behavior of most kids.
And it became a real crime to hit your kid at all in no time. The problem with that is kids have no good reason to do what their parents tell them to. There's no fear there. I'm not advocating beating the shit out of kids and hurting them...far from it. No, what I'm advocating is a return to a time when we had enough common sense to realize that people DO know the difference between a spanking and a beating. That's what the problem was. Instead of actually using our courts to make decisions, we put it in the hands of the police...and criminals like Florida's DCF (Department of Children and Families)...and that's what that organization is, for the most part: criminal. They're as close to a gestapo as we have here in America. They go out of their way - with police - to make sure that people are guilty until proven innocent. They blackmail people into filing restraining orders, lie in court and whatever else they have to do to make their case. And I'm not just saying this for the hell of it...I've been through it. I was accused of a crime against a child, and they did all of the above and then some. I won't go into all the details, not because it's a secret, but because it strays from my point too much. But what they did to me - and do every day - is absolutely criminal...and it's not only allowed, but accepted and even encouraged. Why? "It's to protect the children." Well, I say: fuck the children. I get so sickened when someone says THEY need to protect MY children. That's my job...I'm a parent. I know that...and the insinuation I need the government to do it for me is bullshit. So yes, fuck the children...because that's not what it's EVER been about. It's been about a lack of control over the adults. Moreover, it's been because of lazy people coming up with all this shit. They're too lazy to take the time to weed out the actual, reasonable discipline from the abusers, so they lump them all together. If you spank your kids, you're labeled a child-abuser...and that's a label that NEVER goes away. I ended up having to plead no contest to my charge, due to an illness-related inability to testify for myself...and even though it was the "without admission of guilt" choice, and adjudication was withheld, I can't EVER get it expunged...and there's jobs I can't get because of it. That's ridiculous, especially in my case, where I didn't do what I was accused of in the first place. I got railroaded by an overzealous cop and an absolutely, positively, clearly corrupt DCF.
That being said, I want you to actually take the time to think about what you see around this country. When you're in the stores, and a kid tells a parent "no". "Time out" doesn't do shit after a while. And all the time we see an exponential rise in juvenile crime. And it's not just numbers...the types of crimes kids commit now, as compared to when I was a kid? It's staggering. Even the "bad kids" when I was growing up were a LOT less scary than some of the kids today. And it's the fault of everyone who advocates this pro-kid agenda. I'm not saying I'm anti-kid. If I was, I wouldn't have 2 and a 3rd on the way as of this posting. No, I'm saying that we over-cater to the kids. The pro-kid agenda is asinine...and it's the core contributing factor to The Pussification of America.
First of all, I never could stand hokey, cheesy stuff. Disney stuff is cute, neat and certainly nice for kids to expand their imaginations in some ways...but these parents that think it's a fucking lifestyle ought to be taken out and shot. And then Disney ought to join them for not ever saying, "Hey...grow up, parents. This is for kids. They still have to grow into the adults that will run this place when you're pooping in a bag, you stupid fuckstick." Nothing appalls me much more than a grown adult who's "into Disney" to an unreasonable degree. If your kids are grown, and you're just being nostalgic for what you grew up with, that's one thing. But there are way too many parents who overdo it. I know this because I live in the Orlando area, where you'll see it to a disgusting degree. My oldest son's mother does it to a degree...and I hate it. I want him to grow into a man, not some sniveling, entitled wimp.
All this stuff today that's like, "Aw, gee...those darn kids! Ha!" makes me sick. This idea that the kids are doing what's "so cool" and stuff that's their own private culture - and a culture of lies, bullshit and false ideals - is absolutely reprehensible to me. I mean, I see these commercials with this pseudo-"cool" bullshit that kids think they have, and it angers me. I hear the cocksucking music they listen to, and it sickens me. It's cotton candy, all of it: all sweet and no real substance. And it's turning our kids into soft, tractable pussies who couldn't fight off a fart, much less an actual threat...unless they're criminals. Because in this society, there's no way to be really, truly "tough" and without bullshit unless you're considered a deviant. If you are a strong father figure, and your kids do what you tell them because they know they'll get a stinging swat to the ass if they don't, you'll end up in jail eventually. Either someone will see it and call the authorities or the kids will realize that they can call themselves...and they're going to realize that because their friends will tell them, "Hey...the inmates rule the asylum in these parts...we'll show you how it works..." And that's exactly what this pro-kid agenda promotes: kids running things without ever having the qualifications to do so.
I can't even really stand to be around kids that aren't mine, because it's just so idiotic, the way people raise them. And honestly, I can only stand my own 2 kids in doses, because they've never really lived with me, and I haven't raised them. The good thing with the oldest is that if I use a stern tone of voice, it works. Funny thing is, ironically enough, he's being raised by his mother and her family, who are Mormons...and I think that has a lot to do with it. They're consistent. I love the kid to pieces, but there are moments that he's a bit too much for me...and you know what? I deal with it and keep my mouth shut about it...because he's my kid, and I love him. But I don't have to do that with your snotty fucking brats, people...so either keep them in check, and from being total idiots, or don't bring them around me. I haven't really had any contact with the youngest, so I can't even speak as to what it'd be like...but I'm guessing similar. His mother says she'd never hit her kids - and I totally believe her - but I fear for the disciplinary consequences down the road.
I will say this much: if you do it right, and work things out the right way, treating your kids like human beings instead of like inferior creatures, you can do it without having to spank them often at all. The fear of it happening again after the first time should last a long time...and only need to be refreshed when they've really done something bad, or when it seems the fear's wearing off. And I'm not saying a huge, debilitating fear. I'm saying it should be very simple. The kid thinks: "Man, I'd better not do that, because if I do, I'll get a spanking when I get caught...and I didn't like that one bit." It's reasonable fear...it's controlled fear...and it's a crime for the government to step in and say that absolutely NO ONE knows the difference between the two. Some people don't...believe me, I know that...but many DO. When you see good, honest people of substance who have kids that are complete assholes, that's the reason...they can't discipline the kids in the right way, because it's illegal.
And don't give me this bullshit that, "Gee, there's other ways to make kids do things without hitting them." Yeah, and if you want to spend all that time and effort using trickery and psychobabble on your kids, and treat them like animals that you train, go for it. I say that instead, you should be stern when you need to be, and not when you don't. Simple...and if it requires a spanking, then go for it.
A lot of people that see me in everyday life think I'm a hater of children. And no, I'm not. I'm a hater of how they're raised...and yes, the ones that are obvious products of this system, and exploit it to their advantage, I despise. But that doesn't mean I don't know good kids...and I'm as excited as can be about the baby my wife and I are expecting...and it'll be raised just fine, I'm sure of it. No one's going to beat the child...but I wouldn't be shocked by a swat to the behind at some point, and probably a few times in their life. But people, the bottom line is this: if a kid wants to do something, they will...unless they realize that there are consequences that make doing it a bad idea...and then they won't want it anyway...even if they have to rationalize it in some other way, they won't want it.
My wife's friend has 2 kids from 2 different fathers. She lives with the 2nd one's father, and calls him her "husband"...but they're not married. This guy's an asshole, through and through. He treats her like shit, doesn't do anything to take care of the kids, and won't even marry her...but she wants more. Nice gal, not too unintelligent at all...but here's the clincher: her kids are the worst-behaved little pieces of shit I've ever met. They're literally not allowed in my home for any reason...and when they were here, they were 5 and 3 or something like that. Yeah...that bad. They say no, and they say it with a stunning veracity. They also hit. They call names. The oldest has been suspended from school - as in sent home for days at at time - for beating the shit out of other kids, bullying them, biting them and just plain being a little asshole...and that was just kindergarten. And this chick, who seems not too unintelligent...when it comes to kids, she's a fucking idiot, period. She just says, "Oh, they're just doing what kids do." That is the singlemost maddening statement I can ever hear uttered. "Duh! They're kids! What do you expect?" What do I expect? I expect you, the parents, to keep them in fucking line, THAT'S what I expect!
I was raised in the '70s and '80s. We didn't say "no" to our parents. We got about as far as "n--", and it was a slap. You just didn't do it. Why? Didn't want a spanking. We didn't run around and break things in other people's houses. Why? because we didn't do that at home without a spanking...and somewhere else? That'd be worse. The bottom line is that we knew what consequences were, and it modified our behavior. My parents didn't give us black eyes or anything like that...just sore behinds, for the most part. We all turned out fine. And it wasn't easy...I have only 2 siblings. They're identical twins, also boys...and are only 14 months younger than me. Imagine that: a 14-month-old toddler, then two more newborns. And we did fine.
None of us is a wimp. My brothers were both Marines and I was in the Army. One brother is expecting his first child, also. And since I haven't really been an everyday factor in raising mine, only one of us has that experience as of yet: and he has 2 girls. They're fine. They're well-behaved, and at the same times, no one beats them. Truth be told, I'm not positive my brother's ever hit either one of them. But just because I'm saying it isn't a crime doesn't mean it's mandatory, either. We're all different...and as adults, we're all individuals...but what we need to understand is that not only are parents all different, but so are kids. They're not all the same, and I always get frustrated when people say, "Oh, yeah...kids love that." about something, assuming that all kids like a certain thing. Not ALL of them do, because they're all individuals. And the sooner we realize that, the sooner we can realize that different tactics work in different situations. Maybe the kid's really a behavior problem. Maybe the parents aren't geniuses. There are so many factors. But I don't think we should choose whether people should spank their kids or not...although we can certainly look at possible crimes on a case-by-case basis, and say, "Hey...you punched the kid...that's too far.", and then you punish the adult. But a spanking? Please. It's ridiculous, and it's what will ruin - I daresay IS RUINING - this country's once-proud tradition of being tough enough to take whatever it's presented. Instead, we're a bunch of whining pussies, and a laughing stock to the rest of the world. This is where all these conservative idiots, like Sarah Palin, come from. It truly is The Pussification of America...and it's sad.
